


Red Fan Club

by chimmys



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: F/F, M/M, also the gc name (fic name) is fanclub for keiths cat red, btw thw format for this gc is insta, please dont take this seriously its just for fun, this is based on my friend and i, when i say its a disaster WELL..
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-01 20:45:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17251115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chimmys/pseuds/chimmys
Summary: l.mcln: if we get a horse on our farm can we please name it keith





	1. keithorse

katiehlt: here’s the plan. keith moves here when he’s 18 and keith and lance get married. then u all come here because every thing is cheaper in texas and we move onto a ranch

 

hu.nk: neeigh

 

l.mcln: keith

 

katiehlt: neigh

 

l.mcln: stop neighing it makes me think of keith

 

l.mcln: if we get a horse on our farm can we please name it keith

 

katiehlt: NO

 

allura.a._: CAN WE PLEASE

 

l.mcln: WERE DOING IT 2 AGAINST 1

 

keithkogaye: no

 

keithkogaye: 2 against 2

 

allura.a._: WHY WOULD YOU VOTE AGAINST US

 

l.mcln: im getting a tiebreaker

 

allura.a._: :((((

 

keithkogaye: please dont

 

allura.a._: :((((((((((((

 

allura.a._: get the tiebreaker

 

keithkogaye: Lura..

 

allura.a._: u caused this

 

keithkogaye: ....

 

l.mcln: im doing it

 

keithkogaye: fine.

 

l.mcln: im waiting for her to respond now

 

allura.a._: YES HORSE ?

 

keithkogaye: I wanna live in the city and be broke

 

allura.a._: why be broke when u can b FAMOUS

 

takashishiro: u say that until u cant even afford to go to trader joes and get dinner

 

hu.nk: whats trader Joe’s

 

allura.a._: oh....

 

takashishiro: its trader joes

 

takashishiro: grocery

 

takashishiro: but sexy

 

hu.nk: ITS GROCERY ?

 

keithkogaye: hmm

 

takashishiro: i got tofu spring rolls for lunch yesterday from trader joes they were yummy

 

katiehlt: whos the tiebreaker

 

takakshishiro: and i get all my rice crackers from there

 

l.mcln: her names plaxum shes a kpop stan on twitter that im friends with

 

katiehlt: dont trust her

 

l.mcln: she doesnt know keith shes the most objective this opinion can get

 

l.mcln: [1 image attachment]

 

l.mcln: the horse is keith

 

katiehlt: WAIT

 

l.mcln: what

 

keithkogaye: shit

 

l.mcln: no going back hes keith

 

katiehlt: find another tie breaker

 

katiehlt: we have a tie 😎

 

l.mcln: WHY

 

l.mcln: HOW

 

l.mcln: EXCUSE ME

 

l.mcln: i bet u asked fucking shay huh her lance hating ass fine i WILL

 

keithkogaye: I don’t like horses....

 

keithkogaye: I’VE TOLD YOU THIS

 

allura.a._: YES BUT IMAGINE

 

katiehlt: i havent seen a tiebreaker

 

l.mcln: ok were still getting keithorse

 

allura.a._: HORS EKEITH IT’S DIFFERENT

 

l.mcln: im waiting

 

l.mcln: WHERES UR PROOF WE EVEN HAVE ANOTHER TIE

 

hu.nk: im choking did u combine the....

 

hu.nk: keithorse

 

allura.a._: keithorse

 

l.mcln: i dmed TWO people on twitter abt this i havent even talked to one of them in a month

 

katiehlt: [1 image attachment]

 

keithkogaye: HDOSNCKSNXKD

 

l.mcln: UGH

 

allura.a._: BDIENXKDJ

 

katiehlt: IT IS

 

l.mcln: im making a twitter poll

 

l.mcln: and i still asked two other people

 

hu.nk: BDODNXJD

 

katiehlt: ill ask two more

 

allura.a._: GOODFJSJCJDNX

 

l.mcln: im asking ariana grande

 

keithkogaye: i’m....

 

l.mcln: [1 image attachment]

 

keithkogaye: if she responds I stg

 

keithkogaye: id legally have to drive into a river

 

allura.a._: BDOSNXKSNXKZNJ

 

l.mcln: imagine if she did

 

l.mcln: that would be so funny we would HAVE to listen to her

 

allura.a._: we all know she would say yes tie broken

 

katiehlt: [1 image attachment]

 

l.mcln: im so mad

 

katiehlt: there u go

 

l.mcln: I AM SO MAD

 

takashishiro: they want to call a horse keller...

 

l.mcln: IM WAITING FOR MY FRIENDS TO RESPOND BUT THEY SUCK

 

l.mcln: that person doesnt count bc they want to call a horse keller

 

katiehlt: WHAT

 

allura.a._: i texted someone too

 

l.mcln: yes is winning on my twitter poll

 

katiehlt: well maybe because u have dumb followers

 

l.mcln: no bc i have SMART followers

 

allura.a._: [1 image attachment]

 

l.mcln: keith is such a good horse name

 

l.mcln: SEE

 

allura.a._: YES IS WINNING

 

katiehlt: NO

 

keithkogaye: [1 image attachment]

 

allura.a._: HA !!!!!

 

l.mcln: HA

 

katiehlt: FUCK

 

katiehlt: NO STOP

 

l.mcln: KEITHORSE IS WINNING

 

keithkogaye: WHY

 

katiehlt: NO

 

allura.a._: [1 image attachment]

 

keithkogaye: a fine name

 

allura.a._: BDOENCKDNDKD hes straight he has to use proper English 😔

 

l.mcln: ITS A FINE NAME

 

katiehlt: It’s a fine name.

 

allura.a._: NDODNXKDNXK

 

l.mcln: im gonna ask my brothers

 

katiehlt: why does everyone have an opinion on a horse name

 

l.mcln: [1 image attachment]

 

keithkogaye: my other gc is in a full debate about horse names now

 

l.mcln: im gonna ask a twitter gc thts been dead for a month

 

katiehlt: ur on shays bad side now look what u did

 

katiehlt: tch

 

l.mcln: well maybe if she supported my horse things could be different

 

allura.a._: is anybody keeping count

 

katiehlt: u are all so DUMB

 

allura.a._: thats MEAN keith is good

 

l.mcln: no but keith is winning

 

katiehlt: this is a loss for hunanity

 

allura.a._: hunanity

 

l.mcln: hunanity

 

katiehlt: SHUT UP DJDNXKDNDN

 

l.mcln: this is a win

 

hu.nk: hunan

 

hu.nk: hunan the horse

 

keithkogaye: thats the one

 

hu.nk: thank u

 

allura.a._: my friend with a spiderman pfp said yes so we r still winning

 

l.mcln: im asking instagram

 

keithkogaye: WHY

 

allura.a._: [1 image attachment]

 

l.mcln: is that nyma

 

allura.a._: why..

 

l.mcln: if its nyma tell her to stop insulting keith the horse

 

allura.a._: what if i said its not nyma

 

l.mcln: i know its nyma

 

allura.a._: well

 

allura.a._: she also said ryan is a small dick energy name

 

l.mcln: shes right about that

 

l.mcln: but shes WRONG about keith

 

katiehlt: SHES RIGHT

 

hu.nk: ryan has an energy to it

 

keithkogaye: Reynolds

 

katiehlt: keith please come back i cant be alone on this

 

katiehlt: i say we name the horse barney

 

keithkogaye: THATS WORSE

 

allura.a._: BARNEY? THE DINOSAUR?

 

katiehlt: NO

 

keithkogaye: we name the horse horse and pull a birdbox

 

katiehlt: vriska 😎

 

allura.a._: barney meets his maker its me

 

l.mcln: pidge no

 

takashishiro: name the horse vriska see what happens

 

l.mcln: [1 image attachment]

 

l.mcln: they look THE SAME

 

keithkogaye: WHAT THE FUCKSJEOXND

 

allura.a._: HE LOOKS LIKE A HORSE

 

hu.nk: NDOENCODNDKDB

 

l.mcln: LOOK AT THAT AND TELL ME WE SHOULDNT CALL A HORSE KEITH

 

allura.a._: im naming my horse after every bts member simultaneously

 

hu.nk: namjintaeyoonminkookhope

 

keithkogaye: that sounds like a verbal keysmash

 

allura.a._: minkookhope is what im legally making my first name

 

takashishiro: i will die before i walk out into our barn and i have to say hi jungkook to a horse

 

allura.a._: NDODNXKDNXKDN

 

l.mcln: BDODNXKDN

 

hu.nk: im gonna name my pig 🐖 jesus

 

keithkogaye: cmere jesus

 

allura.a._: laboured wheezing

 

l.mcln: i asked an eboy

 

katiehlt: EBOYS ARENT THE ANSWER

 

l.mcln: yes they are bc i have a crush on this one

 

l.mcln: EBOYS ARE USELESS HE REPLIED TO SOMEONE ELSE AND NOT ME

 

l.mcln: BLATANT TRANSPHOBIA

 

allura.a._: [1 image attachment]

 

keithkogaye: [1 image attachment]

 

hu.nk: WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE THEIR OWN HORSE NAMES DJDNXNDN

 

allura.a._: RIGHT

 

l.mcln: WHY DO PEOPLE COME UP WITH THESE

 

allura.a._: Oh see but

 

allura.a._: we can name the other horse lance

 

l.mcln: no

 

l.mcln: things we can name a horse: keith, zarkons big bouncy nuts

 

keithkogaye: name him sire

 

allura.a._: gage.

 

keithkogaye: NO???

 

l.mcln: we are NOT naming him sire

 

katiehlt: CALCIFER?

 

keithkogaye: the fire demon

 

l.mcln: bc in vampire fics w y/n sire is sexye

 

l.mcln: no

 

allura.a._: im naming my horse grape

 

l.mcln: the only name i woll accept that isnt keith is naruto

 

keithkogaye: NARUTO

 

katiehlt: NARUTO

 

l.mcln: naruto


	2. local clowns

l.mcln: MY BINDER CAME

 

l.mcln: my chest? FLAT. my depression? CURED.

 

hu.nk: IM SO HAPPY FOR U

 

l.mcln: IT LOOKS SO GOOD

 

l.mcln: i put it on and immediately ftimed allura and almost CRIED

 

hu.nk: U DESERVE IT ILU

 

l.mcln: ILU TOO!!

 

l.mcln: IM SO HAPPY

 

l.mcln: allura’s uncle just confirmed she IS a horse

 

l.mcln: he said a lot of people name their horses allura when i asked about keithorse

 

hu.nk: BDOSNXKSN

 

l.mcln: me: i dont have a dishwasher

alluras literal entire family at once: U DONT HAVE A DISHWASHER?!

 

allura.a._: [1 image attachment]

 

allura.a._: ur welcome

 

l.mcln: betrayal

 

l.mcln: i show u my bee onesie and u stab me in the back

 

allura.a._: well u just HUNG up on me

 

l.mcln: I DIDNT MEAN TO

 

l.mcln: I THOUGHT U HUNG UP ON ME

 

l.mcln: i think alexa hung up on u

 

allura.a._: WOW

 

allura.a._: i have to empty the dishwasher anyway 🤙

 

* * *

 

 

keithkogaye: [1 video attachment]

 

katiemcl: U POPPED IT

 

keithkogaye: I POPPED BOTTLES

 

hu.nk: BCODNXKSNZ

 

takashishiro: happy new year

 

takashishiro: goodnight

 

keithkogaye: i just woke up on concrete

 

takashishiro: thats why u dont get drunk

 

* * *

 

l.mcln: hey guys lets go to disney world

 

keithkogaye: *land

 

l.mcln: stop oppressing florida

 

keithkogaye: never

 

allura.a._: lets go to disney world

 

hu.nk: i agree

 

allura.a._: lance ! we win

 

keithkogaye: LAND

 

l.mcln: WORLD!!

 

keithkogaye: i cant survive florida a second time

 

l.mcln: WAIT CAN WE GO TO universal

 

l.mcln: their rides are so much better

 

keithkogaye: ...

 

l.mcln: im RIGHT i wanna ride the harry potter ride

 

katiehlt: valid

 

keithkogaye: but..........i.........

 

keithkogaye: dont like rides that much

 

keithkogaye: im a thunder mountain kind of person if it goes upside down my heart will stop

 

l.mcln: OH I DNT LIKE RIDES EITHER i dont even like any drops

 

l.mcln: the only ride i rly liked with a drop was the mummy ride

 

hu.nk: I DONT LIKE THE DROPS EITHER

 

takashishiro: its ok keith i dont like rides either

 

* * *

 

hu.nk: madagascar is playing on the tv and im not a furry but i love this movie

 

hu.nk: its playing entirely in spanish tho i have no idea whats happening

 

allura.a._:: BDISNXKSNX madagascar transcends language

 

hu.nk: but it brings up the question why do animators always animate animals to look sexy

 

hu.nk: or at least they try to

 

allura.a._: YEA ITS WEIRD

 

hu.nk: cant watch an animal movie in 2019 without a huge ass and some bandonkadonkers and a lion w bedroom eyes

 

katiehlt: i felt that

 

hu.nk: thats rly how it is

 

l.mcln: ur right i propose we overthrow the furries in charge

 

l.mcln: theyve gone too far. please no more animal movies

 

l.mcln: alpha and omega crossed a line that shouldnt have been crossed and we havent been the same since

 

hu.nk: these are all such great points

 

hu.nk: im on board

 

l.mcln: BFIDNDKD thank u!! were in charge now

 

l.mcln: next movie is abt reptiles

 

l.mcln: WAIT RANGO

 

hu.nk: sexy lizards

 

* * *

 

allura.a._: lotor keeps talking abt me on his ig like were friends

 

katiehlt: screenshot

 

l.mcln: why does he keep trying 2 be ur friend u are too good for him

 

allura.a._: [1 image attachment]

 

allura.a._: he also tagged my name in some tumblr post abt friends he loves a month ago

 

keithkogaye: can he.....not

 

katiehlt: YEAH....

 

allura.a._: I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND WE HAVENT SPOKEN WERE NOT FRIENDS WHATS HE DOING

 

l.mcln: &LIKE WE CALLED HIM OUT ? HE LEFT THE SERVER i dont ...

 

katiehlt: he left it like the day after

 

allura.a._: THE LAST TIME WE TALKED I WAS LIKE i need space from this friendship.. and then deleted his number

 

allura.a._: like what close bond do we have

 

l.mcln: NDOENXKDNXKD

 

l.mcln: block him

 

allura.a._: i like making fun of his ig posts in my head tho

 

allura.a._: its a hobby

 

allura.a._: he has a gf now i thought she was made up for like 2 months

 

l.mcln: BDODNXKD

 

katiehlt: ANDSOXNSN

 

allura.a._: but then i found out his gf is a superwholock and it all clicked into place

 

hu.nk: omg.......

 

hu.nk: is lotor a superwholock

 

allura.a._: no

 

allura.a._: not that i know of

 

allura.a._: i was just like ok so ur a loser makes sense why u two are together

 

l.mcln: DEAD ....

 

keithkogaye: dead..

 

hu.nk: dead .

 

allura.a._: dead?

 

l.mcln: DEAD

 

* * *

 

takashishiro: hey im making potstickers anyone want some

 

l.mcln: i dont know what those are

 

takashishiro: what

 

hu.nk: how do u . What

 

takashishiro: how have u never had a potsticker

 

takashishiro: [1 image attachment]

 

takashishiro: ???

 

keithkogaye: love those

 

l.mcln: ive never seen that in my life

 

allura.a._: ive never eaten one but i know what they are

 

takashishiro: what the fuck

 

takashishiro: keith is the only person here i can trust

 

hu.nk: do yall just never eat chinese food

 

l.mcln: i eat three things at chinese restaurants

 

keithkogaye: theyre like the chinese version of a gyoza

 

l.mcln: whats a gyoza

 

keithkogaye: fried dumpling

 

l.mcln: dumpling.....

 

keithkogaye: filled with meat and they smell amazing i almost convert every time

 

takashishiro: mine are veggie tho

 

keithkogaye: youre coming to canada the south is sheltering you

 

allura.a._: i only ever eat the sweet and sour chicken with rice

 

l.mcln: YEA

 

allura.a._: ITS GOOD

 

takashishiro: i cant handle this

 

allura.a._: vegans

 

keithkogaye: you listen here

 

takashishiro: potstickers are my fav food

 

l.mcln: mine is granola bar

 

takashishiro: why

 

l.mcln: the strawberry tastes nice

 

keithkogaye: what...

 

takashishiro: strawberry in a GRANOLA BAR?

 

katiehlt: those are gross

 

keithkogaye: please say sike lance i cant handle a granola bar being your favorite food

 

l.mcln: dont hate just because you have strawberry discrimination

 

takashishiro: this is terrible

 

takashishiro: but it explains why youve never had a potsticker

 

keithkogaye: yeah

 

* * *

 

keithkogaye: guys. i need to come out

 

allura.a._: i thought you already did?

 

keithkogaye: no this isn’t sexuality this is different

 

katiehlt: well we support u no matter what

 

l.mcln: yeah man

 

keithkogaye: i

 

keithkogaye: im

 

keithkogaye: im karkat kin

 

l.mcln: no

 

hu.nk: how do i block him

 

katiehlt: karkeith i wholeheartedly support u

 

takashishiro: do NOT fucking enable this i will kick your ass i dont care if youre five

 

hu.nk: BCORNCJFJDBD

 

l.mcln: SHIRJFIRFNIEJ

 

allura.a._: its what she deserves

 

allura.a._: kick keiths ass too

 

l.mcln: yeah

 

takashishiro: i cant deny the people what they want

 

takashishiro: sleep w one eye open

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading this it’s literally just discourse i had w my friends but anyway hope u liked it ill continue the vld shenanigans whe my friends do more dumb stuff


End file.
